week one impressions

 
 
 

january 20, 2017

it’s 9am and i am still in bed. i didn’t sleep well last night. between the sickness and the fever dreams and the winter storm passing overhead, it’s an antithetical feeling to say, that of the night before christmas. fear, sadness, and dread swirl in my mind, sentiments echoed by the biggest storm san diego has seen in six years.

i can’t bring myself to get out of bed to turn on the tv. i switch on the radio to NPR. 

“i, donald john trump, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of the president of the united states..." 

the sky continues to cry. the wind continues to moan.

it is time to batten down the hatches. 

______

january 22, 2017

is this what the disciples felt like when they were at sea in the midst of a great storm, and jesus was sleeping? when they asked, “teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” 

their cries must have sounded something like mine today: lord, can you hear us? don’t you realize what this means? don’t you care?

the roar of the wind deepens as if to echo the groans of a divided nation.

“he woke up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, peace! be still! then the wind ceased and there was a dead calm. he said to them, why are you afraid? have you still no faith?

oh, lord. my soul longs to put its trust in you. you are the only safe place. but the storm is raging on and your silence is deafening. speak now. let justice and mercy roll down. heal the chasms that divide. prepare us for the long road ahead.

______

january 24, 2017.

today i take solace in this: our savior was no stranger to suffering. the most blameless being to ever walk the earth bore the weight of injustice. he was betrayed by his most trusted friends. he was abandoned by his followers in his hour of greatest need. he was falsely accused and rejected, mocked and abused. he was crucified between two thieves while he was completely innocent. he was pierced by a spear and nailed to a cross. before he tasted death he felt the crushing distance and deafening silence between him and the father.

"my god, my god, why have you forsaken me?"

there is nothing we can experience now that our lord did not endure himself. 

the injustice that we see today is not foreign to him. that is why he is near to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit (psalm 34:18). he has been there and he is here now.

lord, i am undone by the injustice. my heart cries out, “it isn’t fair. it isn’t right.” may those who bear that weight in even greater measure take comfort in your nearness. may “the poor have hope while injustice shuts her mouth.” (job 5:16) 

______

january 26, 2017

when i felt it was time to batten down the hatches, i could never have imagined that this was what lay ahead. a ban on refugees? a god forsaken wall? 

I WILL SAY IT AGAIN UNTIL I AM HOARSE: SELF-PRESERVATION IS NOT THE GOSPEL. AND NATIONALISM IS PURE IDOLATRY.

i have no words today. i am afraid of speaking out of anger rather than love. so, i’m just gonna leave this right here and let it speak for itself:

Matthew 25:31-46

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”